Wait. No. That doesn’t sound right. Let me explain. I recently drafted a post about the Disney Channel classic Wish Upon a Star and I was scoffing away, furiously banging out some insulting witticisms about the silly plot, and then I totally teared up. I was sitting there being like “Damn, this movie is dumb but like they are sisters and they are friends! I love it!” So the truth is…and maybe this is a pretty poorly kept secret…but I love very special episodes so much.
My boyfriend–whom I forced to actually visit this blog by taking away the “read via email” function.–told me that every time a very special episode came on TV he would be like “oh noooo it’s one of those lesson episodes!” Child version of me, on the other hand, was like “Oh my gosh. This is a very important message about how to be a better person and not die of a marijuana overdose. I must give Mrs. Garrett my full attention.” Between Diff’rent Strokes and The Facts of Life Mrs. Garrett felt like the bizzare fairy-godmother to my early social development. Like that time Arnold was in the hospital and had a crush on his roommate but her dad (who otherwise seemed like a nice guy) was a racist. Everyone is sort of like, woah he sucks but he is still nice. What gives? And Mrs. Garrett, refusing to excuse his behavior, says “There’s nothing little about bigotry.” It’s a pun. But I was ten years old and totally like “Oh my GOD that is SO profound.”
And I still feel that way. Sure they’re often badly written, either totally implausible or entirely trite. But oh my gosh the feels. I can’t resist the feels.
The Time Tootie Casually Saved a Child Prostitute in a Diner.
I love it all. Each and every very special moment. And while they do not always make me cry, I’ve been known to spontaneously break down from the sheer social justice of it all. I mean the world really would be a better place if we all went to a school where Mrs. Garrett was going to make sure that we were all sensitive supportive people who did not get jealous of our cousin becaue she was getting more attention due to being a comic with cerebal palsey. Well, I promise it’s more generalizable than that one incident. Or if we lived in a world where people like Mr. Drummond really would just adopt a couple of orphans and then end up being awesome and dedicated parents.
Or just the touching reminder that someone out there has your back.
Today, I salute you very special episodes. Thanks for warming my heart. Now, I will go back to mocking you. Because I love you. Because that is how Millennials with blogs show love.