Happy Days: The First Thanksgiving

I haven’t watched Happy Days in years and my how I have missed it. The cozy living room, the breakfast nook, the hair scarfs, and how wonderfully Henry Winkler managed to pull off the greaser look with just a brown bomber jacket and a ton of hairspray.

But Mrs. Cunningham is struggling through Thanksgiving to be honest. She’s cooked an entire turkey dinner for the entire family and not a single person has helped her. Not even Joanie and she’s the girl. Everyone is so busy watching football that they have forgotten what Thanksgiving is all about, so Marion Cunningham decides to tell them.

Screen Shot 2014-10-22 at 8.32.57 PM“Now in 1621 the Pilgrims had this wonderful harvest…” (cue ripple screen affect to signify dream/fantasy sequence…)

It turns out that the “womenfolk” of the colony have been talking and would like to celebrate the harvest with a feast that they want to call “Thanksgiving.” But it was Fonzie’s idea to invite them to dinner.

It’s surprising to me that Pilgrim Fonzie literally just used magic to make fire in the hearth, yet none of these witch-fearing folk seem to want to hunt him down. His power is great. But Pilgrim Mr. Cunningham is suspicious of him because he makes all the ladies squeal and kiss in public. For shame!

So anyway, Fonzie gets put in the stocks because he wants to be nice to the natives. And by be nice I mean tread them like humans and not defraud them of all of their possessions/land/livelihood/lives. Fonzie agrees to spend the rest of the day in the stocks only if they will leave the tribe alone.

It’s only when Pilgrim Joanie gets her foot caught in an animal trap that they decide that Fonzie’s special powers can be used for good. It turns out that Fonzie could have magically gotten out of the stocks the whole time, but he was staying in there for civil disobedience and all. He gets Joanie out of the trap and they decide that he is not evil, so they invite him to the Thanksgiving feast. Fonzie says he can’t make it though because he has a reservation with for dinner with the Indians.

Everyone is like “oh no, savages! Agh!” and Fonzie is all like “you guys are racist,” so he and Richie talk them into having a peaceful, lovely Thanksgiving in which everyone is invited regardless of cultural differences.

Screen Shot 2014-10-22 at 8.48.00 PM Screen Shot 2014-10-22 at 8.49.23 PM

And that is history. You see, back in the early days, Pilgrim Richie and Pilgrim Fonzie taught us all that every human life is important. And we learned never to be racist again.

That’s how it happened

Then end.

Very Special Lesson: DON’T THINK ABOUT THE TRUTH. THIS IS THE THANKSGIVING STORY.

Very Thanksgiving Activity: Here is a fun printable craft that you can do when your family is driving you crazy. It will help you remember that you like each other. Or you can just list all of the other things that you do like and remind yourself that this is only one day out of the whole entire year.

thanksgiving-turkeys-pieces-printables

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2 thoughts on “Happy Days: The First Thanksgiving

    1. Oh yeah it’s awful. I like it in the modern day fashion that my family celebrates it, but when I have kids I am going to skip the whole pilgrims/indians thing until they’re old enough to know what really happened. Except just kidding school/television/other humans will totally ruin that parenting plan for me. Please send pictures of your turkey craft!

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