Happy Days: Fonzie’s Blindness

Crap. What a week. I’m so tireeeed. I’ve been sitting in my bed for the past 3 hours doing that thing where you just kind of like stare at Hulu or like the empty space just beyond your computer screen and think, “How is my brain possibly still conscious and functioning?” And yet, there is some weird synapse that keeps firing and it’s that synapse that forces you to stay awake against all human odds? That’s science right?

And all I can say about this week, is at least it wasn’t as bad for me as it was for Fonzie that time he was temporarily blinded because Al hit him in the head with a lunch tray.

If your optic nerves are that fragile, then you seriously need to have some work done. But anyway, the Fonz has a really hard time with this because he’s flawless and prideful and God-forbid he be slightly vulnerable let alone missing one of his essential senses!

But since he’s a god-among-men, everyone caters to his ever need and wish, so much so that Richie worries he will be totally helpless for the rest of his life. And so he rips Fonzie a new one during the family dinner because Fonzie asks Joanie to salt his potatoes for him. And Richie is like DO IT YOUR DAMN SELF, FONZIE even though he has only been blind for like a week and maybe it takes some time and emotion to react to that kind of thing.

But I get it, we’re on a thirty minute timeline and we need to move things along. So Richie takes Fonzie’s motorcycle apart. He really shouldn’t be driving blind anyway, so this seems like no loss to me but Fonzie has a metaphysical break down. And Richie’s all like Mr. Miyagi and saying he should use the force within or something and wax-on his way to putting tiny little screws and nuts and bolts together kinesthetically.

Fonzie loses his shit and like can’t handle it. Then he asks God why he allowed this to happen to him. “I thought I was your favorite person,” he said. I mean I get that Fonzie is cocky, but that’s like way beyond the point of acceptable charm here. That’s like probably the definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But then he get’s down to business and puts the bike together from memory.

And then Fonzie is rewarded for his perseverance and regains his sight at the end of the episode. He says things are a little “blurry” but if he keeps going to the doctor for his “treatments” then he should be 20/20 again in no time. That’s some awesomely advanced medical work for the 50’s.

Very Special Blog: Work hard, be humble, and all of your disabilities will melt away.

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