Planes, Trains, and Automobiles/An Open Letter to Kevin Bacon?

There are not a lot of Thanksgiving movies to chose from, so this one always come to mind when November roles around. However, this movie makes me so angry. Only one John Hughes movie makes me more irate than this (She’s Having a Baby) and I don’t think it’s just because Kevin Bacon appears in both of them. But on that note:

  1. Kevin Bacon is such an ass. I mean, upon re-watching this I see that he and Steve Martin (btw, I just started to write Tom Cruise. Wtf? Where is my mind? I must be tired)…ah, yes where was I…Steve Martin and Kevin Bacon are running to catch the same cab and Kevin gets there first. But I’ve always remembered it as Kevin stealing the cab. I think I have just sort of hated him ever since he wasn’t very nice to my friend, who said hi to him when he and his daughter were touring our college theater. But like it was our space. She didn’t run up to him on the street or even approach him at all. She just excitedly said hello when he was near her and he acted like she was a bother. Jerk.
  2. Sorry, Kevin Bacon. It’s actually John Candy who steals the cab, which really makes sense with how the rest of the movie plays out. But we’ve still got bad blood. And it’s not because you’re a celebrity. It’s because I don’t like rude people.
  3. I love John Candy, but I just want to shake him in this movie. I mean Steve Martin gets mad at you for clearing your sinuses in the bed next to him (after John Candy spilled beer in it, I might add) and John Candy accuses him of hitting his kid if he spills milk. Like what the heck? I mean that’s just nuts. I feel like there are certain rules about sharing a bed with a stranger and they certain don’t allow for weird phlegm noises in the middle of the night.
  4. Okay, Steve Martin telling John Candy that spending time with him is “like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy Doll” is taking it a little too far. I think I just hate both of them.
  5. But this soundtrack, I am LOVING. It’s all like late-80’s light instrumentals and it’s exactly what I imagine would be the soundtrack to my life as a late 80’s business person, such as Steve Martin.
  6. Omg and Steve Martin was so mean to the really nice lady at the Marathon Car Rental desk. I feel terrible for anyone who has to work in any kind of service industry during the holidays. You’re getting blamed for so much crap that you have no control over.
  7. But then John Candy uses Steve Martin’s credit card to rent a car without telling him. And that car catches on fire. So now John Candy is the bigger jerk in this movie. It’s like a constant battle of who is the least tolerable!
  8. But then it turns out that John Candy really likes Steve Martin and he’s only been driving him away because he doesn’t know how to relate. 😦
    And then they actually start to have some fun!
  9. But I think they still suck…though they did kind of learn and grown from their experience together…how very special is that?
  10. And then there’s the ending which is the whole freaking reason why I watch this movie. Gets me every time. This is like one of the most beautiful thing in cinema history to me (right up with the ending of City Lights).

And suddenly we realize that John Candy was probably so cheerful and annoying during all of these weather delays just because he was really, really happy to have someone to spend quality time with. And like he is actually a nice guy. They’re both actually nice guys. And this song is just so perfect. And you know that Steve Martin’s wife is happy because she can tell that Steve Martin has grown as a person by simply witnessing this wonderful act of kindness. P.S. Did you notice tiny little Matthew Lawrence playing Steve Martin’s son?

BEST THANKSGIVING MOVIE EVER

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