Ugh, okay America. Somehow you loved Fuller House enough to warrant a Season 2. Apparently, I missed the memo. Somehow, this show was a hit. While I pride myself on an in-depth knowledge of nostalgia, even I will never understand this. But I do have some notes. I’m sure Season 2 is in the can (it premieres December 10th if you’re so inclined), but here’s what I’m thinking would help:
- Let Jodi Sweetin dance. Just Jodi Sweetin. Not you other people who can’t really dance but somehow decided that appropriating Indian culture was a great way to give it a shot. Like PLEASE drop the stupid DJ storyline and just let her be a dancer.
- Bring back “Feedback”. You made us listen to “Jesse and the Rippers” saccharine single “Forever.” But I’d actually rather hear “Shout” any day of the week. Also, you can totally skip bringing back Scott Baio. Just recast him like you did Nelson.
- Leave the Olsen Twins alone. Those awkward jokes about their absences were some of the most painful moments in an already painful show.
- Get rid of Steve because you turned him into a creepy obsessive person. Also, the new guy is way cuter.
- Involve the original cast of older actors as much as possible even though they are probably busy with other projects. Seriously, if this means a lot of Dave Coulier, I’m actually okay with that. The older actors are the biggest talents on that show. It’s not that the younger actors are bad, but I don’t feel like they are doing a good job of carrying this on their own. They do also have horrible, horrible scripts to work with even by Full House standards, so who knows.
- Make Kimmy Gibbler the lead and give her all of the plotlines. Like I seriously do not care who DJ Tanner-Fuller is dating. I’m so bored. I’d rather just watch the lady who is cool enough to own a bacon and eggs scarf. Also, this is a great opportunity to bring back “Girl Talk,” which OBVIOUSLY would be more interesting than anything they produced last season.
But clearly we’ve established that I’m in the minority of thinking this show is crap. You do you, America. I just don’t get it.